A sad day for
Star Wars fans. While three new
Disney-sponsored
films in the intergalacti
c franchise are on the horizon, the construction
of an actual Death Star, like the one Darth Vader called home in the films,
above Earth is not. (
Sigh.)
A petition setup on the
Petitions.WhiteHouse.gov
website amassed more than 34,000 e-signatures demanding that the Obama
Administrati
on "secure resources and funding, and begin construction
of a Death Star by 2016." The group argued that "focusing our defense
resources into a space-superi
ority platform and weapon system such as a
Death Star" would "spur job creation in the fields of construction
,
engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national
defense." While an excellent point, those 34,000 people overlooked some
potential hurdles.
In what could only be called a small victory in the face of eminent defeat
for
Star Wars fans, the White House actually responded to the
petition.
"The Administrati
on shares your desire for job creation and a
strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon," began the
poignant response from the U.S. government that ultimately nixed the plan.
The author of the response, Paul Shawcross, serves as Science and Space
Branch Chief at the White House Office of Management and Budget. Shawcross, who
helped pen the White
House's fiscal 2013 budget, cited three main reasons for the petition's
rebuttal, and affectionate
ly titled it: "This Isn't the Petition
Response You're Looking For."
Shawcross says that the construction of the Death Star would cost the U.S.
somewhere in the $850,000,000
,000,000,000 ballpark. "We're working
hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it," he rationalized
. He also
added that the U.S. government "does not support blowing up planets"
nor would it "spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a
fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?" (Might
Shawcross, himself, be a fan of the
Star Wars films? That is still
undetermined
.)
Shawcross challenged the undersigned to apply their keen imaginations to the
current night sky, as it is already home to a pseudo Death Star. "Yes, we
already have a giant, football field-sized Internationa
l Space Station in
orbit around the Earth that's helping us learn how humans can live and thrive
in space for long durations," he wrote. He noted that with six astronauts
aboard from three different countries, it was more of a peaceful stopover in
the cosmos, than destroyer ship.
While Shawcross' response is point-blank hilarious, it is also immensely
informationa
l, as he provides links to several currently in-the-works
space projects. "We don't have a Death Star, but we do have
floating
robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around
a light saber
and
advanced
(marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects
Agency, which is supporting research on building
Luke's arm,
floating droids,
and
quadruped
walkers," he challenged. (Okay, this guy is definitely a HUGE
Star
Wars fan.)
Alas, the Death Star petitioners should be basking in their defeat. They did
manage to get a response from the U.S. government, and it isn't necessarily a
dead end. There are several privately funded aerospace companies, such as Elon
Musk's
SpaceX, Jeff Bezos'
Blue Origin and Richard Branson's
Virgin Galactic, that they can hit up
for that $850,000,000
,000,000,000.
Adds Shawcross, "We are living in the future! Enjoy it. Or better yet,
help build it by pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or
math-related field." May the force be with you.
